My Writing Life

I sat here in front of my laptop thinking about what to write for I think 2 hours. I just could not find anything in my head.  But then, I figured I could write about what I have done best in my life. Writing. Ironic almost.

For a long time, I was trying to find my talent. Something that made me different from everyone else. I tried Geology, Marine Biology, Sports, Dance, Music, and Art. By my 5th grade, a surprising amount of people had figured out their ‘talent’; what they could do happily and do well. Coincidentally, this was the same year my family and I moved to New Mexico and faced what felt like an existential crisis. A month before we moved, my Dad gave me a box set book trilogy almost as an ‘I- am- sorry- we- are- moving- the- family- 1,000- miles- away’ present. As a budding book worm, I accepted it begrudgingly. The first book in the set was Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani. The books follow the life of 35 year-old Pharmacist  Ave Maria Mulligan in the tiny town of Big Stone Gap, nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. It is a wonderful everyday-life tale of grief, love, and to sum it up in one word: Charming. This series made me want to do something I had never tried before. I wanted to write my own story.

I spent the next year writing my first story, and turned it in as a class project the next year. The Protector is a twelve chapter (two pages per chapter) book I’d like to forget I ever wrote. It is a quite terrible mash of Murder Mystery/Romance. I got a little carried away that first time.

After I wrote that, I realized how many opportunities there were to write. All kinds of mail-in competitions that got me started in writing poetry. My first few poems were titled: Hold On, Broken Family, Demon of the Night, and Soldier’s Daughter. A lot of my inspiration came from how the bullying, depression and anxiety made me feel. As I started recovery, it helped me release frustration and write about what I hoped for myself in the future. It helped me realize I had a future. 
 
Some people find therapy in music, art, or dance. I found mine in writing. Writing what I’m going through or losing myself in my own characters, sending them into their own troubles and hurdles, losing myself in the story. I can write out my own story in verse, speak my verse to others and find closure in exposure. I am glad I went through some of the stuff I did, that my Dad gave me my books, because I have made myself better, and found my niche, my talent. And I'm so happy to be a poet, a writer.

#writerslife #middleschoolsucks #poets #militarybrat #livingwithdepression #newtonewmexico
#findingmyself